Morning comes. I breathe in. I breathe out. I walk to the bathroom and realise that I am still finding it hard to breathe. At this point, I have two choices; I can either sigh and struggle on with my day or I can have an attitude of gratitude. My natural instinct is to focus on what God has not done, rather than what he has but I need to remember that I have so much to be thankful for…

I get excited when I think about all that God has done for me so far. Up to this point in my healing journey, I have survived two life threatening chest infections. Last June, I almost died of pneumonia and this year, I had an empyema (an infection in the fluid around my lung) which caused life-threatening sepsis in my blood. I have survived two lung collapses, one where my lung collapsed right to the bottom of my chest. Through all of these serious events, God had his hand on me. He quite literally, ‘lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.’ (Psalm 40:2) Yes, I still struggle day to day but I am so grateful to God to be alive.

God has also been prompting me to be grateful for every tiny step forward day to day. I can focus on the fact that I am not completely healed or on the fact that I can do more than I could last week or when I came out of hospital. After an operation on my lung last year, I was in huge amounts of pain. I didn't have the strength or energy to drive, do things around the house or go out on day trips or evenings out. After the same operation on my other lung this year, I can be thankful that I am in no pain; I am already driving, getting out and about on my own and managing full days out. I am already able to volunteer in my church charity shop and even managed a five day holiday in Wales with Chris. I can choose to concentrate on how breathless I am down the corridor or I can be thankful that I managed a 3 mile walk, just a few weeks post-op. I can concentrate on my need for full time oxygen or I can be thankful that I need less than I did when I left hospital. I find that making the choice to be thankful makes all the difference to my day. It can be the difference between dissolving into tears or getting out and doing all that I was made to do and be.

There is always something to be thankful for. The Bible tells us to, ‘Give thanks in all circumstances’ (1Thess 5:18.) I am thankful to God that I have survived all of the dangerous episodes of the last year but also that he gives me the strength to do each day. Even on a very bad day, I can be thankful for a lovely home, a supportive and loving family, friends (and gorgeous new baby nephew- see below) and a church that stands with me in prayer. I recently wrote a song entitled, ‘A thousand times thank you.’ Every breath, every step is a gift to me and I want to be a person whose first response is, ‘thank you Jesus.’ He is always good to me and I couldn't do life without Him. It’s a journey. I don’t always get it right but I am learning with God’s help, to have an attitude of gratitude.