The beauty of having so much time during seasons of recovery, is that finally, I can pick up a book. For years I have worked flat out. I loved every minute of it but it was a rare moment when I could sit down and get into anything. One book that I have read in this last year, is Heidi Baker’s ‘Birthing the Miraculous.’ Once I had started it, I just couldn’t put it down. I was inspired by the love she has for the children that she cares for in Mozambique but more than that…her desire to go deeper and deeper into a relationship with God. She speaks from Ezekiel 47, about pushing deeper into the presence of God until you are completely surrendered and in over your head. The way she speaks about her Jesus, is that of a woman completely in love. I couldn’t help but be intrigued and a desire for this deep relationship began to stir within me.

Jenn Johnson (Bethel Music)

Over the last few years, particularly with a busy work schedule, Chris and I have worked really hard at making sure we have a daily ‘God slot’, where we are able to read the Bible and pray together. This was great and really important but I can’t help but want more. I want that relationship with Jesus where everything is surrendered to him. I want to walk every minute of the day in step with him, whether that be in busy working seasons or in times of quiet and recovery. I want to know what he is thinking and chat to him about everything and anything at any time of the day. I want to be at a point where he could ask me to do anything and I would be happy to surrender everything to do that. I want to be in over my head!

What started to frustrate me though is…how do you get there? Then I started to think about how I formed a deep relationship with my husband. I can remember when we were first dating at 16, how we used to spend every minute we could together, just hanging out on the beach, or going for a walk and chatting about our days. Sometimes we would have to do some homework or uni work but it was enough to be together in the same room. I began to realise that God just wants to hang out with me. Even when I am really busy, he wants me to keep an ear out for what he is whispering to me. He wants to have a chat as I am walking around the supermarket or driving to work. He wants to comfort me when I am upset and laugh with me when I am happy. You can’t take your husband to work with you but you can take God! One thing that Chris and I have started to which has been amazing, is ‘soaking.’ We just put on some music, with no agenda and just ask God what he wants to say and what is on his heart. It was weird at first but we are just starting to tune into His voice.

I reckon I am just starting to dip my toe into the water. I am certainly not in over my head but I decided to call my blog ‘Going Deeper’ because it is my heart’s desire to be on that journey. It is exciting with just one toe in and I can’t wait to jump in further. This is my daily prayer that I wrote as a song recently:

It says in Matthew: ‘Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.’ I wanted to know how to go deeper. I haven’t quite figured it all out yet but I am going to start by asking God to take me deeper daily and spending each day hanging out with him, whatever I am doing.