It's not until you reach the other side of the storm and look back that you begin to see the bigger picture. A few years ago, I had a vision for someone of a man inside a little boat being tossed around on the waves. As the picture zoomed out, I saw an old man sat on a bench. He was operating a little toy boat that was gently bobbing up and down on a small lake. I felt God say that you can feel like you are in the middle of the worst storm but He is above all of that. He can see the bigger picture; He is always in control.

My last few months have been a lot like that. Everything was going so well with my recovery and then all of a sudden things seem to crash in around me. First I got a life- threatening infection in the fluid around my left lung. This caused my breathing and oxygen saturations to go right downhill. All of the progress that I had made seemed to be gone in a matter of days. For weeks after that, I really struggled. I knew that something else had to be wrong. I felt like that little boat being tossed around on the waves and I couldn't help but cry out to God, 'Why is this happening? I was doing so well!' Through all of this though, I knew that God must be in control, despite what I could see and I just needed to trust him!

Six weeks later, I just happened to go to the doctor for something else and I asked her, just out of interest, to listen to my chest. I didn't really expect the response...my left lung had collapsed! Over the next few weeks, it was clear that God's hand was on me. The doctors were keen to put a chest drain in. After last years experience, I was very uncomfortable with this but also felt unsettled in my spirit. It was just as well that I refused it as it turns out that it would have been really dangerous and caused my lung to collapse further. However, without the drain, I was still at risk of my lung collapsing and crushing my heart, giving me three minutes to live. I needed a pleurodesis as soon as possible (the same as I had on my other lung last year- fixing of the lung to my chest wall.) In the end, I had to wait two weeks with that risk but yet again, God protected me! I had probably had this collapse for six weeks and had carried on with normal life. It could have been a disaster but God was with me!

Eventually, I had the operation. I expected a similar experience to last year with lots of pain, limited mobility and lots of morphine. The reality was completely different! I was barely in any pain; I didn't need morphine and I was soon walking down to Costa for a cup of coffee. If you had seen me last year at a month post -op, I would have been sat feeling ill with lots of cushions. This year, I am already attempting hills and yesterday I managed to walk three miles!

Last year- right pleurodesis

This year- left pleurodesis

I spoke about the bigger picture...Emerging from this operation, I now have two lungs which are at far less risk of collapse and have no infection or fluid around my lungs. I am recovering far more quickly than expected and I can breathe better than I have done all year. The cherry on the cake...my chest x-ray is the best it has ever been and there is more tissue in my left lung! The last few months have been a storm but looking back, I can see the hand of God all over it. We are still praying for complete healing but I know that this has been an important part of the journey. If you are in the middle of the storm and you can't see the way forward, just lift your eyes up to God. He is good; He is always in control! After the storm has passed, you'll look back and smile - he had your back all along!